You're reading because something needs to change. Like, yesterday.
Great, I’m glad we’re both on the same page.
Currently, you may be:
Missing fulfillment and purpose
Lacking peace about the person you’re becoming
Tired of “pretending” and playing the part of being successful or accomplished while inside you know it’s not fully authentic
Unclear about what’s next because whatever got you to where you are isn’t going to get you to who you’re made to be
Frustrated at the fact that you look around and don’t see anyone living as an example of the life you know God has designed us to lead
Stuck in negative cycles that are perpetuated by unhealthy relationships or even what you now realize are toxic work, home (or church?) environments
Disclaimer: You can’t change 10+ years of decisions in just five minutes of reading, one hour of journaling, or even one year of a perfectly executed strategy. There are some things in your control and other things in God’s timing. My goal is to help you understand what’s actually* within your control so you can eliminate the wasted time and energy. With that said, becoming the person God made us to be is a process and a journey that requires daily decisions to stick to our priorities. If you understand this and you’re committed to creating sustainable change, then keep reading.
Ultimately, you're ready to be:
Aligned and at peace with the life you’re leading
Activated and challenged to reach your true potential
Connected to the Lord, knowing that you’re hearing His voice
Confident you’re truly utilizing your gifts and passions in whatever you’re doing
Secure in knowing you’re following God’s unique path for you in all areas of your life
Free from being your own worst critic and making decisions based on others’ approval, expectations or opinions
If you’re checking off a lot of these boxes then that means you know “there has to be more”. And you’re not alone. This is not just a church culture cliche. It’s not some intellectual exercise. It’s an opportunity to change who you’re becoming. It’s an unapologetic, quiet confidence that comes from the decisive person who overcomes the fear of other people’s opinions because they so deeply trust the Lord’s leadership and guidance. And there are other intelligent, intuitive people like you who are actually experiencing this paradigm shift in their day-to-day life experience. So what’s the secret? The secret is there is no secret. It takes work. But you already knew that. What kind of work, you ask? That’s the real key. The change you’re looking for starts with one word: Perspective.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” - John 10:10
I believe Jesus is talking about the fullness within. And for many high-achieving Christians, the real issue isn't found in the external things like money, career or location. It's the disconnect within.
If you’ve ever wondered why you live with so much pressure, resistance or even indifference --- it’s likely because of your belief system (BS).
When you change your beliefs, you can change your behaviors. When you change your behaviors, you can change your life experience.
The problem is we all have blind spots that hide the real roadblocks. We can’t read the label from the inside of the jar. So we need someone brave enough to hold up the mirror.
This journey starts with asking new questions. New questions lead to new answers. And new answers show us a different perspective.
Now imagine you’re speaking in front of an audience.
You're mid-sentence when you glance to the front row and see a woman with her eyes closed.
You continue but you’re quietly thinking, “How could she be sleeping? Is my message that boring? Should I even be up here speaking?”
You keep sharing your message...but you're quietly distracted and slightly offended.
Afterwards you see that same woman now approaching and trying to get your attention. You could avoid her. Or you could ask yourself, "Lord, what's she thinking?"
She says to you, “Excuse me! I had to find you. Your message was so powerful. I just needed to tell you that the Lord showed me all of who He has made you to be while you were up there speaking. It was so good...and so overwhelming. So I just sat there with my eyes closed...praying…and I just continued to pray for you while you were speaking. Please don’t ever stop doing what you're doing.”
We all have blind spots. Even some in plain sight.
As you read and watch the following stories, pay attention to what comes to light.
These are real stories from real people I've worked with. Each of them are on a journey of healing, changing and growing as they navigate their life, career and relationships from a new perspective.
Kyle Is An Inner Creative Who Enjoyed His Work As A Manager In Engineering Living Overseas But He Needed A New Perspective & Some Practical Changes To Know How He Would Find More Fulfillment
Reid Is An Accomplished Young Inheritor Who Was About To Leave Wall Street Before He Confronted Inner Conflict & Re-Established Self Confidence Through A Focus On Health, Healing & Following His Calling
Reid and I have been working together since 2018. It's 2022 at the time of writing. And I can confidently say he's one of the main reasons I've continued to do what I do.
Anyone who meets Reid will immediately recognize that he's a rare combination of a highly compassionate and high-achieving person, always hungry for growth and learning. Before we met he was already on a path for success, having attended a ‘little ivy’ college followed by starting his career with a great job on Wall Street. But he experienced a sharp change in his trajectory when he started having performance issues at work, which led to him losing his job somewhat unexpectedly.
We first got connected after he heard about an event I was hosting through a friend. Reid was interested by the possibility of connecting with a Christian life coach who aligned with his values and who genuinely spoke from experience he could relate to.
On our first call Reid wanted help to better position himself for a new job that might be more aligned with his purpose...but it didn’t take long for him to begin realizing there were deeper mindset, health, relational, spiritual and emotional challenges that were at the root of the unrest and inner conflict he was experiencing.
He was very open to the idea of having personal coaching and guidance to help him overcome the challenge of finding a career path that was right for him, given previous experiences as a college athlete, in counseling and with productivity coaching. However, while he found those experiences helped him optimize things like getting more organized and efficient, ultimately they didn’t address the root issues.
"I kind of went into working with TJ with a similar attitude of, 'All right, we're going to work on the job', but he was quick to shift the conversation to what was happening beneath the surface."
"I was looking for a job, but the real issue is that I was struggling to trust myself. That lack of self-trust led me to ignore my health and my work because I struggled to believe that my choices were good for me...causing confusion about my direction professionally and even my personal priorities. TJ helped redirect me to see that what I really needed was to start with stability...which began with taking better care of myself so I could have the capacity to get to the root issues that led to conflict in the first place."
Our work together began with identifying and addressing the deep mental, emotional and spiritual blocks preventing him from making decisions aligned with the man he's made to be. As we removed these blocks on our calls, he was then able to apply any strategic recommendations with more ease. Within the first month he had already started building incredible momentum, recovering a sense of integrity and self-confidence very quickly.
"One of the key issues I was dealing with was low self-esteem. So we needed to get to the root cause of it. I'd kind of known that growing up but I had ignored it for so many years."
"I was also going through some health issues that I wasn't aware of while dealing with family relationships that hadn't healed and were unconsciously causing me difficulties in my personal life. There was a lot of inner turmoil in my life that made it hard to engage with work, which ultimately led to me being asked to leave my company."
Reid started his journey by joining the “Live Your Legacy” bootcamp and has continued with several years of private coaching. During that time we’ve worked together to help him break out of old mindsets and patterns, address core beliefs, and realign priorities through a process of deep questioning, active listening and self-discovery...balancing the practicals while inviting God into the process.
To re-establish his self-confidence and improve his self-esteem, one of the key first steps in his plan was to highlight what needed to change for him to improve his overall state and personal well-being. This gave him a practical starting point — being that it was something actionable and within his control. Some of this work included removing blind spots in his diet, improving sleep, activating more movement, prioritizing active rest, and creating more opportunities for reflection and connection.
Reid says a key difference in our work was focusing on mindset — going beyond information on how to make better lifestyle choices, which everyone is constantly bombarded with but still struggles to act on.
"With TJ, it wasn't just, ‘Oh, here's all the best advice — go do it. Do this workout and eat kale and get a lot of sleep’."
"It's really how to think about what does a healthy relationship with these aspects of your life look like? What is a healthy relationship with sleep? What is a healthy relationship with diet? What is a healthy relationship with God? Yourself? And others?"
As he established a foundation for a better relationship with himself, Reid made progress with small, gradual and sustainable changes over time that would compound and lead to unlocking additional energy to help him reach his goals. He was often challenged to confront fears and other beliefs, like learning how to let go of others’ expectations that had driven his decision-making. Often – even while on our calls – I'd challenge him to do things that were outside his comfort zone but would ultimately help him make healthy, positive changes in his life.
Through multiple profound and intimate conversations that facilitated eye-opening reflection, Reid gained key insights that unlocked a whole new perspective on his life.
We took on navigating his relational boundaries with both family and money, ultimately working towards reconciling strained relationships. Again, we focused the process on what was within Reid’s control while asking the Lord about all of this.
"I had to take ownership of beliefs that I've held that have contributed to unhealthy relational dynamics over time. Practically, I went through the process of apologizing, forgiveness and setting a new direction. It enabled me to get closer to family, and also just experience peace in other relationships as well."
All throughout the process, we created the space to invite God into our conversations, including time to listen and pray on our calls. Reid has grown in so much confidence as he continues to actively listen for what he believes God wants to show him.
Reid says that taking a step back and listening — to God, to himself — and seeking healing was what helped fuel the personal growth that has led to some of his greatest breakthrough moments.
"We'd literally be on the phone where TJ is just silent for 45 minutes and I'm just talking and saying everything that I'm sensing God wants to show me or say to me."
"That created some of the deepest healing I've experienced. And it did not come from TJ. He's a really wise and a great person, but even just his ideas alone I don't think would've enabled me to have the same level of peace in my life that listening to God has brought. TJ was humble enough to create that space in the conversation."
"It feels liberating and exciting to believe that I can fulfill my purpose on the Earth and be all that I can be and want to be."
Reid's relationship with himself has dramatically changed during the process of working together. It's a transformation that quite literally worked its way from the inside-out (as you can see from the photos of our personal branding day in NYC back in Jan. 2020).
He went from self-doubt to believing in himself, which then led to a whole list of changes in his physical health, his financial well-being, and his relationships with himself, God, and others.
"My health went from being deficient (tired, dehydrated, disconnected, constantly stressed, overfed but undernourished) to being a strong foundation and source of energy through health habit transformation."
"I was actually able to make pretty quick progress landing a new role at a better firm based on better clarity of priorities, being challenged to do things I was afraid to do and taking better care of myself throughout."
"I wasn’t expecting transformation in my relationships, but I’ve reconciled with many, set healthier boundaries, begun saying no more frequently, and started dating again for the first time in over two years."
"I went through inner healing and honest, heartfelt conversations with family. I developed a positive relationship with money, going from from giving away everything (from an unhealthy motivation) to now having a healthier balance of giving, saving and earning (more than ever before)."
What initially started as a conversation about him wanting to leave finance for good so he could go into full time ministry would end up leading him on a healing journey back into business – now working on his dad’s top ranking wealth management team...a role he believes is a God-ordained part of his calling and legacy.
"I think that's really the most powerful thing I walk away with from these experiences — having faith in myself and hope for the future. I can really change and my life can get much better as I focus on what's within my control."
Daniel Was Climbing Corporate As A Successful Consultant But As He Turned 30 He Knew Something Was Still Missing...And Now Says This Was 'One Of The Most Important Things I've Done In My Life'
Blair Had Taken A Leave Of Absence From His Management Role In Finance And Went From Cloudy To Clarity Personally, Professionally & Spiritually
When Blair and I first got connected, he was at a major turning point in his life. Personal, professional and spiritual issues were all colliding at once. And he'd just decided to take a leave of absence from his management position in finance.
"My mind felt clouded as I was trying to navigate next steps while suffering from burnout and trying to heal emotionally. Obviously the bootcamp was great and too much to go into in a single message, but..."
"...developing healthy rhythms, identifying my performance mindset and how it relates to my perception of acceptance, and allowing myself to truly receive grace from the HS were key breakthroughs that allowed me to gain clarity in a very uncertain season of my life."
"At the end of bootcamp, [after first prioritizing patterns in my personal and spiritual life], TJ and I had a call to identify the practical requirements for better alignment in my career: schedule flexibility, influence within the culture, financial opportunity, and creative freedom. [On that call I discovered the] potential for something new...and then I made a pivot into financial planning. Throughout the last year I’ve been able to reconnect with several people and have the flexibility to share my faith during the process. The new career path has been challenging, but I know it will be rewarding long-term."
"Also…a year later I’m now married to the love of my life. So thankful for God’s provision and amazed at how He has been at work throughout my life."
Hannah Was A Top Sales Performer But Realized She Had Been A 'Slave To Money'...Until One Moment Helped Her Break Free To Go On Her Entrepreneur Journey