About insecurity

High performers and overachievers beware.

This may apply to you. I mean me.

I’ve experienced this reality.

How insecure are we?

Insecurity breeds a desire for certainty.

We want control. We want to dominate. So we say we’re “driven by performance”.

But, truthfully, we want belonging. We want to relate. So I say we’re “driven by conformance”.

At work. At home. We fight the tension between expressing ourselves and wanting to fit in.

At what point do we lose our own dreams? And opinions? And identity?

At what point do we just give in?

They say, “TJ, you ask aggressive questions!”

I say, “Aggressive? Or, honest? I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t love you. So think of them as suggestions.”

Here’s one (or three): What area of your life are you over-invested in? Who is losing out? And who do you need to let in?


Great to see some of you last weekend, in DC. Pictures and videos to come shortly. For those of you reading from London, we're bringing you Welcome to Yourself in February.

We're looking into Chicago, or Charlotte for March. If you'd like to learn more, or be a host partner in your city, or company, please contact me.

Separately, we'll be in Haiti this week (tomorrow). It's time for a visit back to BATI. Be sure to visit our Facebook page to get the live updates. Be sure to share and send love. And know this: You're a significant part of our greater community.