Why so insecure?
Why so offendable?
It's always been personal, hasn't it?
Expectation is one reason for your offendable heart. Expectation for something. Anything.
The insecure person is offended when they give and don't get something in return. No acknowledgement.
But what were you expecting in the first place?
True love is unconditional. I will love you, under all conditions. With no conditions. Or expectation.
You have a garden of life. And the root of your insecurity is a weed waiting to be pulled. Unless you don't have one. Unless you can't see it. Until you're offended.
A very good friend of mine was recently arrested 100 yards from his home. In his suit. On his way to work. In the early afternoon.
"Sir. Sir! Let me see your license."
"Yes. Here it is. May I ask why?"
"Show me your subway card."
"Here it is. May I ask why?"
"You didn't use that one. You used the school subway card. Why do you have a school subway card?"
"I don't think I used the free pass on the school subway card. I apologize if I did. I'm happy to go swipe my other card. It has $100 balance. I carry my six year-old daughter's school subway card too. So she doesn't lose it. I'm happy to go swipe my other card again. I'm now late to a meeting."
"Where were you in December 2004? I see something on your record showing you left an unattended vehicle running, in Queens."
"I was in Boston. At college. And I have a clean record."
"That's not what I see. This isn't good. We're going to have to take you in."
Six hours later. In jail. In his suit.
"Sir. The judge is ready to see you."
"Sir. I see you're here because you left an unattended vehicle running in December 2004, in Queens. What do you have to say?"
"I was in Boston in December 2004. At college. And I have a clean record. If I knew why I was here, then we could have a conversation."
"I'm sorry. You're free to go."
A very good black friend of mine was recently arrested 100 yards from his home. In his suit. On his way to work. In the early afternoon.
He's black. Does that matter?
Do black lives matter?
All lives matter. But that's not the point. That's not the conversation.
There's an old problem deeply rooted in our communities. Blacks are being profiled. Arrested. Or murdered. And it matters.
There are other problems in our communities. Others facing the same, or similar. But that's not the point. That's not the conversation.
You don't tell me about AIDS when I'm raising awareness for cancer. It's a separate conversation.
Are you offended by the conversation starter?
I'll ask. What's your expectation?
Here's one: Love your neighbor. Unconditionally.
You don't have to understand. You do have to acknowledge.
Raise your awareness. Look them in the eyes, and say, "I want to try to understand."
Sometimes silence is the greatest violence.
So speak up. For your neighbor. It matters.
Why so insecure?