Now I’ve got your attention.
Men and women need to hear this.
Today, more than ever, it’s an all-out war to just get through a simple Google search without coming across something toxic.
But it wasn’t until recently that I discovered how rampant this quiet problem has become for men of all ages confiding in me.
“It was so unhealthy. It was lust.”
“I don’t have the heart to tell my fiancé.”
“It entered my life as a teenager. I was in a dark place. But it got worse. It turned to same sex porn.”
“I’ve been with the same woman my whole life. I couldn’t escape this feeling that I’ve never explored ‘what’s out there’…”
Men, I see you! I hear you! I feel your desire to become the man you know you can be. It’s something I can see.
But something you’ve discovered will always be more compelling than anything someone else can find.
So you need to discover the man you want to see. No, you need to discover why this version of you can no longer be.
That revelation, in a different area of my life, has allowed me to see how my unhealthy distractions aren't my only means of satisfaction.
For me, playing cards was one example of an unhealthy distraction that prevented me from a true satisfaction: perfecting my crafts in writing and speaking to reach men and women like you.
I'll reframe this way of thinking:
You’re not saying “I can’t”. You’re saying “I don’t”. To take ownership over your choice.
You’re not saying “no”. You’re saying “yes”. To the person that matters to you.
Who is the person that matters to you?
Write their name on a sheet of paper. A big sheet of paper (adds to the effect). If you don’t know them yet, then I want you to write “future wife” instead.
Speaking of a "future wife":
Women, you have a part in this too.
Men will show you your value based on how you value yourself.
How can you expect a man to show you respect if you don’t show yourself respect first?
By the way, what does self-respect look like?
Hint: You can be firm while kind, and gentle. And don't be haughty. Nobody wants to go back to the person who smacks them with an “I’m better than you” stick. Help your man! Men respond best when you kindly show them why you want what’s good for them, not just what makes them feel good.
Speaking of feeling good:
Some things feel good. But they could feel better. In a different circumstance.
One example: Observing sex is much different, and less fulfilling, than participating in sex in marriage. The disclaimer is I’m not married. Yet.
I’ve always been (what I thought) was “respectful” to women.
I was taught, by my family, to hold the door, to take the side nearest cars when we walked next to traffic, to bring flowers, and compliment her when she’s least expecting.
I was also taught, by my peers, how to treat women physically. But I've now learned those lessons were incorrect. I didn't know it until I had a woman with self-respect.
Side note: We put so much emphasis on the importance of education. On the importance of what we’ve learned. The problem is we've made the assumption that what we’ve learned is correct. In life, and in business, you will do best when you can learn what you need to un-learn.
But I’m not here to tell you what’s right or wrong.
I write because I care for you. And I want you to eat the food that makes you strong.
Speaking of food:
I’m serving more of the food you need to live life to its fullest. This weekend, in D.C.
We have a handful of tickets left.
You're a part of this community of seekers, leaders and influencers. The ones looking for positive change. Not just more of the same.
Our reader base has grown by 76% in the last 6 months. I'm grateful for all of you. But I have a favor to ask:
If you find value out of this community, then please forward to a friend and encourage them to subscribe. If you’re a regular reader who hasn’t subscribed, then I’ll kindly ask you to join the weekly list. Simply drop your e-mail into the pop-up box on my site.
Thanks for being so great. No, thanks for being awake.